Goodbye.

People say that experience is the best teacher, but what if you never learn from it?

Been there done that.
First it was 3 years ago. I still remember how it made me feel, I still remember how I cried every time I had the chance to. I still remember how that was the worst valentine's day in my entire years I've lived in.

Then I got back up and live normally facing each day without thinking of anything that are related to you. But you came back. As much as I wanted to hate you I couldn't. So I gave up and I gave in. I have to admit that I loved the feeling, and just as I thought the magical moment vanished without any notices. Leaving nothing behind but me cursing myself of being such a fool.

I watched you came and left, in and out of so many beautiful souls and never have I dreamt of being greeted by you ever again.

It was my birthday, you finally decided to came back into my life, on my birthday. Once again, as much as I wanted to hate you I just couldn't do it. I don't exactly know why but though you've broken my heart so many times I keep feeling that excitement, happiness, and nervousness every time you greeted me. Every time.

It was sweet. It was every thing I could ask for except that we might not be destinied together. And you know how it ends right? Yes. Once again I'm making a fool out of myself for still hanging hopes too high. For actually hoping it would have a different ending this time.

To tell you the truth this is by far the most hurtful heart broken that I've ever felt. I'm not even kidding, neither do I joke. For the first time we shared our true feelings towards each other (though they are all still a bit vague because we don't really know what are the feelings called) and for the first time I let out all of my disappointments and it still ends badly.

You may not want to say goodbye, but I do.
Thank you for stopping by, it really means a lot for me. It was sweet, it was beautiful, and I feel so loved. I knew it would never worked out between us. I'm gonna be missing you, so much, and I'm not just saying. Then again, at the begging of this I told you not to pour salt in the old scar but yeah who am I kidding? It's not you without a handful of salt ready to be poured to the re-opened old wound.

Such lovely short time we had.